EUREKA!

I know what I am going to do with this blog from now on. *Do'h!* Why didn't I think of this before?

But the title of this blog is PERFECT already! : )

Honorable Mention (noun): 1. Having exceptional merit though not winning the top honor or prize. 2. An official recognition of merit.

Everyday, in the world news, WONDERFUL things happen (both good and bad), and although they both affect and effect me and people/things around me, the status of my surroundings do not always equal the status of my mind, or Facebook page for that matter.

I will come here as often as possible to simply give thanks to all of the things they did not make it to the international main stage, they made an impact in my life. The posts might be wordy, or it could be a picture, but be assured that it will get the job done.

I wanted this blog to be so many things (see previous posts in the archives), things that were a great reflection of who I am as a person and my SUPER DOPE taste, but I was trying to do it so that it could potentially become this wonderful "thing", that in all honestly, I would not want to do for the rest of my life...

SO!

Whatever I choose, I'm going to stay #TRUE to #ME.

: )

How refreshing and trill.

Love,
Melissa

5 Things to Do to Keep the Weight Off

*I hate that I can't remember basic grammatical rules. I swear I want to type and re-type the title to this because I think that the to's should/shouldn't be capitalized or whatever... DAMN YOU, CPS!

1.) STAY ENCOURAGED -- The sites and mags don't title their articles "How to Beat the Winter Workout Blues" for no reason. It gets annoying and boring. I was watching a clip reel of Alicia Marie (a fitness model, @ALICIAMARIEBODY) and on a show she told a boy, (something like) "There will be more days that you don't want to workout than days that you do!" Keep reminding yourself the reasons why you want to get and stay slim and don't let your conscience beat you before an actual beat down comes--which will probably never happen. Change up your workout, try new classes, borrow a recipe, begin to intentionally change your speech from 'novice' to 'familiar' (and then work on going from 'familiar' to 'well versed' and so on... Do you see how that works?)

2.) USE SOCIAL MEDIA -- Be open and as honest, as you are comfortable with, about your weight loss journey. Talk about new workouts you are trying/want to try, tell people about a new recipe or how easy something that seemed difficult was. Don't beat yourself up though. Words like "I feel fat," and "I'm such a fat ugly slob," only make people think that you have a REALLY bad self-image problem and that you aren't serious about your goals. You will be surprised how many people will encourage you when you when you seriously do not have an ounce of motivation within you. At the same time, you will encourage a lot of people to keep on their own track to slim, healthy sexiness! AND YOU CAN GET FREE ADVICE FROM CELEBRITY TRAINERS!! [But don't tell anybody I told you...that's just a heads up between US here, at THM.)

3.) DON'T FREAK PEOPLE OUT! -- Don't make this one part of your life, your ENTIRE life. There is no reason you should be on a cleanse every week (w/o your physicians advice) and popping pills at dinner tables before you drink a glass of water and then another between every bite. People will be afraid for you and thus they will begin to speak negatively about your goals (consciously or unconsciously). If you MUST explain to people why/how you plan to go about your weight loss, make it logical. I was telling people how much weight I wanted to lose but it wasn't until I told them how much I had actually gained/how dangerously close I was to being over weight that they began to say: "Wow. Then this whole health thing is good for you." Another fun thing I do now, that I didn't do in the beginning when talking numbers, rather than say, "I HAVE 30 LBS LEFT!" Say things like: "I can't fit my jeans anymore!" Or, "I'm just 1 pound away from the 5 lbs I set to lose this month." These are softer blows to the head but blows indeed.

4.) BUT DO, FREAK THEM OUT! (WITHIN REASON) -- If your friends invite you out for drink every 10 seconds, and you usually are already at the bar before they get the words out of their mouth... say 'no' sometimes. Or maybe, you'll go to a fast-food restaurant, go ahead and ask them to "hold the mayo, cut it in half and make a fresh batch of fries w/ no salt, please." These things will attract enough attention that your close social network will notice and honor the fact that you are working at being a healthier person. They might even order the same thing or, check first to see how you feel about certain unhealthy activities before even getting too excited about you being there. Naturally, people don't like too much change so, expect a lot of unfamiliar behavior from even your closest friends and family. They will get used to it as you get used to it but they are hoping that you will join them for the Friday night fish fries every week like you used to. Healthy, well informed decisions are easily recognized so, keep growing and be confident in all of your choices. They HAVE to honor that.

5.) MAKE IT A LIFESTYLE -- Another very typical statement that I am learning is true. Don't just workout or don't just eat healthy. Sleep more, party less, and adjust the other things accordingly. My goal last month was to have a fruit or a vegetable at EVERY meal and snack. Find a fitness AND nutrition guru who speaks your language and take their word for it. (Check their credentials and use you reason though.) I like the Tone It Up girls and Jeanette Jenkins. By checking out their stuff, following them on Twitter and Liking their brands on Facebook, I've been introduced to new and interesting people in the fitness world because of it. NOW rather than seeing people talking about smoking weed at 4:20 (I don't smoke weed.) I see people saying, "TRY 200 PUSH-UPS BEFORE BED!" and "BREATHE DEEP." I am a very self-disciplined person when it comes to the things that I really want, but when it comes to doing painful things like exercise and budgeting, I honestly rely on my friends who are at the point I want to get to, and great, reliable sources that I can access any time or any where. Keep healthy snacks at your desk or put water bottles in all of the places you spend most of your time. You made socializing a part of your lifestyle, you made shopping a part of your lifestyle, and you even made morning meetings a part of your lifestyle... All of these things are important but are NOT as important as a healthy and sound, mind and body. Make it a part of your lifestyle.

**Just in case someone decides to jump off of a bridge after reading this, I want to let the internet and readers know that I am not a certified nutritionist or fitness trainer. This is all my own opinion and coming from my own experiences. I encourage you to talk to such people, especially doctors and/or nutritionists and/or psychologists about whatever type of journey you are preparing (or are already on) for.

xoxo!

Melissa

11 Qualifications for a GOOD MATE.

I woke up this morning and started "ranting" on Twitter. "Love" is pretty much the running theme in my life right now. People asking me for advice, me asking people for advice... I am learning so much and am so happy for the people working hard at their relationships, leaving poisonous ones and mostly, the people who are realizing who they are themselves within or without a relationship altogether.

The rant began after I looked at some pictures of one of my guy friends and his girlfriend of, about two years (+?), and I was just so happy for him because I remember him saying how hard it was to find a good woman and that he ultimately wanted that healthy relationship some day. I think that part of the realization of the 11 Qualifications came from watching an episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker last night. Patti Stanger had a female client, in her late 30s/early 40s, who is an über successful caterer in New York who had a "list" and control issues. Stanger's client sounds like a LOT of my friends and seeing that episode mixed with the success my friend has found in love, switched on the light bulb in my head.

I realized that YES, you SHOULD have some qualifications but, you should not have an excuse. Lists cripple your success in love. All it is, is a bunch of words that you count on in case you don't want to admit that you just aren't physically attracted to a person (or "mentally stimulated" for the phonies who act like sexual attraction isn't important to them). So many times my girls will say: "He just didn't match w/ my list." Did he not match? Or did it just not workout, because you became turned off somehow, so you're blaming it on an 8.5"x11" sheet of wood chips? He didn't align with the list? Or are you whack? He wasn't right because of the list? Or did you just go against your intuition because you knew better than to get involved with his ass?

BUT . . . I dont' want to lose your attention (for those who are actually reading this post and didn't skip to the list) so I will get right to it. Here are 11 YES or NO questions that you can apply to potential/current mates and I honestly feel like, if you can't say 'yes' to them all, you should just quit...

1.) Are they HEALTHY? -- If you look at them, do they look or behave [as in, do drugs; including cigarettes and excess drinking or those creepy mannerisms/ticks/obsessions] like a drug addict? If they do . . . that's not it.

2.) Are the generally attractive? -- Not, "easy on the eyes", I'm saying, when you look at them, do they look good to you. Not, "adonis fine", either. [Which they could be/become to you, but you know what I'm sayin'.]

3.) Could they survive without you? -- Are you the center of their universe? You don't want to be that. Are you important to them? AS important as work/play/friends/family? IT'S A GO!

4.) Do they have the sense of humor you like? -- If they can't make you laugh... [sigh] even if racist jokes are your "thing" . . . it just won't work. They have to make you laugh . . . hard and often.

5.) Do they believe in something bigger than them? -- I suggest that you two are "of the same yolk". If you're Christian he/she should be Christian. Hindu to Hindu, etc. There was a case in Chicago about a Catholic/Jewish couple who got a divorce and ended up suing one another over their baby daughters religious practices. And MORE than that, a family that prays together, stays together.

6.) Do they thrive in good AND bad times? -- Do they like . . . commit suicide EVERY TIME they're struggling? Do they ignore you when things are going well for them? That's wishy washy behavior. You need stability to build a foundation.

7.) Do they treat you & your time with respect? -- I can't tell you what that should look or feel like, only your intuition can gauge that for you.

8.) Are you sexually attracted to them (even after you have sex)? -- Even if you're saving yourself for marriage, you should "feel" a certain way about your mate. If you're not, you should feel that certain thing too. But most importantly, AFTER you actually have sex, you should still ALWAYS feel that, no matter what, it shouldn't be a CHORE to get your groove on. It also shouldn't need to be a round table discussion between your heart, spirit, genitals, brain and conscience [saying 'yes' or 'no'] EVERY TIME.

9.) Do they challenge you to become better? -- Directly or indirectly. We don't want drill sergeants but, you do want someone who sends you links that are good for your career/ideas or is constantly teaching you something new. Even a little healthy competition is good.

10.) Are they an addition to your life? (family, friends, business... even if they move you from a place, is it a smooth transition UP?). -- Do they fit in? If they do stand out, is it LIKE a sore thumb? Or are they an actual pain in the ass? Your friends don't have to love them but, they shouldn't have the feeling that they need to TOLERATE them for your sake. Your mom and dad need to approve of their character. Looks, sexuality, income, all that can be changed [some people might disagree w/ the sexuality part but, you gotta admit, it can be masked if you want it to be] and I hope your parents are more interested in their heart than the stupid things. The stereotype that in-laws and husbands/wives don't get along does not have to be true for you...but they don't need to be best friends. AND if they do "remove" you from a group of people, it should always be up, it should NEVER be against your will and it should be to a safer place. Otherwise, they are insane and might murder you or something.

11.) Do you guys spend money alike? If yes, great. If no, can you two work together towards the goal to find a balance? -- Finances are the #1 reason why people get divorced (poor AND rich people).* Can you get used to someone who spends frivolously (or not at all)? Is it okay if he buys himself a new car but won't even pay for your dinner? Is her first thought to sacrifice herself and give all of her money to friends/family okay with you? If not, can you two exist "separately" in that institution? Or can you work together to teach each other how to be more flexible here and there (which is a better idea)?

And I just added one while I was typing...

12.) Can you COMMUNICATE? Can you speak your mind without any fear that they will smack you? Can you listen to an opinion without preparing your rebuttal the WHOLE time they're pouring their heart out? Can you actually take a bit of their advice and your own and apply it to your life? Or, can you both talk, in one sitting, and stand up knowing that you've resolved the issue? Even if your style is to yell and be dramatic or maybe you become silent in heated situations... Can you two communicate, that's the point.

The end.

It got a little lengthy so I'll stop here. : )

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

*I heard that $ is the biggest reason ppl divorce on Moody radio. MOODY NEVA LIES! Reliable sources people!